And so it goes on…

*Originally posted July 1st 2011

Since last season ended, with all the rapture & fanfare of a visit to Dignitas, I’ve been adamant that I wouldn’t be issuing any new blog posts until we made some signings.

I sat patiently & assured myself I wouldn’t be waiting long, Wenger knew what had to be done and he wouldn’t waste any time. Ivan Gazidis would have to cancel his holiday because he and Arsene would be living on a staple diet of Red Bull, Pro Plus & Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodles until the squad was vastly improved and all that money we’ve not spent in recent years, but have been assured was available and has now been topped up with the extra income of the ticket price rises plus a bumper pay day pre season tour of Asia, was gone and we had built a squad that didn’t have a collective brittle bone disorder & wasn’t scarred shitless by big shiny trophies and winners medals.

Oh I knew what was going to happen alright & I was quite willing to play this shortest of waiting games.

And so I waited & watched as Steve ‘wash my face with a hammer’ Bruce spectacularly overcharge Kenny Dalglish for Jordan Henderson and the supposedly debt crippled Manchester United spent big on Phil Jones, David De Gea & Ashley Young and I must stress that  watched all this happen prior to the stroke of midnight just past when apparently transfers can be announced/completed.

I’ve watched Barcelona partake in their favourite summer past time of making derisory offers for Cesc Fabregas, watched Samir Nasri not sign a new contract whilst being linked with moves to one side of Manchester or the other. Watched Nicklas Bendtners Dad link his son with a variety of clubs and then watched as those clubs have announced they have no interest in the Jewellery making Dane. Ha, I can even remember watching as Denilson announced that he wanted to leave Arsenal because apparently he is a winner & see’s his future in Spain or Italy.

I’ve watched that now famous nine minute YouTube clip of Ricky Alvarez – you know… Ricky Alvarez!

We’re signing Ricky, along with Gary Cahill, Christopher Samba, Alex Oxdale-Chamberlain, Gervinho & Juan Mata.
Yes we are! We’re signing them, we’re signing them today.

Today, July 1st.

Yes as we’ve sat here watching nothing happen we’ve been telling each other that it will all happen on July 1st.

So here we are then, July 1st and as yet the closets we seem to be to signing anybody is the news that talks are ongoing. Oh and Arsene Wenger thinks that deals may not be done until some time in early August.

So Carl Jenkinson aside (Yes we managed to sign a 19 year old from Harlow who has dual English/Finnish nationality and has played 8 games for Charlton Athletic and 4 on loan at Eastbourne Borough) we’ve signed nobody and nobody wants to sign Denilson.


Clichy looks likely to sign for Man City, Nasri could be going with him and the Cesc saga stumbles on and on.

Of course at this point there is still more than half of July 1st to go so lets hope that Arsene & Ivan are so doped up on Red Bull, Pro Plus and whatever the hell they put in Pot Noodles that they’re spending money on quality signings like nobodies business and will have them turn up on Monday for pre season training, where Arsene can tell all the want aways “Look, bollock’s to you. If you don’t want to be here we have players that do. If we get the money we want for you you can go, if not that’s Neil Banfield over there, you’ll be working with him this year you money grabbing surrender monkeys! Except you Denilson, you’re on toilet cleaning duty this year”

What looks more likely is that the same bunch of players who fall apart easier than the Greek economy, some of who have publicly stated a desire to leave and some of who should leave, are going to arrive at London Colney on Monday and feel distinctly under whelmed – Until…

Eboue turns up in a Bernie Clifton ostrich costume, that’ll boost morale!


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